Momma-la-la-la!!
Oh My Goodness Momma!
Shit’s been nuts since we hung out on Mothers Day. Watching Bad Moms together, separately + our Key Exchange immediately after. Wow we made some shockwaves!
I’ve already been such a live wire lately but DAMN! That came outta nowhere! Okay, maybe I kinda felt it coming if I’m honest. You’ve been gettin a lil squirely here and there. I’ve been… you know exactly where.
That’s why it’s fine my gifts a little late, or just on time, Maybe even early? If I push my luck? Cuz…technically afternoon tea on Newfoundland is your gift to be delivered in August. 💖 You said Tuesday was Perfect for my letter, however it took me till now to get back right side up. Love you!! I’m still playing catch up. My Hearts gift to you for Mothers Day; Unhinged Creativity.
It's arrived “on time” each and every year, like clockwork. For dearest Mother I know punctuality is… Everything!!! To you. Balanced only with your Humanity. Knowledge that shit happens and a heart of forgiveness; in due time. I’ve been blessed to have you as my guide on this planet. Seemingly; Captain of my ship till yesterday, or the day before. I’m not quite sure when IT happened; along the way the past hours and now days since that talk.
Our seismic shifts and understandings were… Intense. OOO did you ever see The Matrix?! Probably not, maybe? Neo…It’s a whole thing, let's watch it together soon. ♥ ️ Our newly discovered sandbox, the places and spaces we share; have been forever changed, WE Changed the Rules of Our Game.
Thank you! I love you!
Dust settles over my new reality, comprehensions as impactful as our exchange. Thank you for always finding me where I am, and giving me whatever you could. It was always enough. You are the magician of many things. Making Ends Meet; is only one. “I’ve watched you do anything you set your mind to” All my life. 😘 stitching together anything and everything you could get your hands on to “Make it Happen” and you always did, especially if you promised. You’ve never broken a promise. You knew there was a difference. Promises are only granted when you have FULL CONTROL + a Little Faith.
Just Enough, because nothing can be Trusted, however at some-point you gotta “Let go Let God” not that I ever remember you saying those words. That’s a bit much for your tastes from my perch. You gave me Spirituality. Never more than you could describe, which wasn't always much, but it was Just Right. Enough to let me “Learn to Let Go” (ish) that sounds like you again <3
Thank you for Teaching me. Thank you for giving me all the tools you could, and permission to upgrade and change them to suit my needs along the way (not that we had Any Clue that’s what we were up to…well maybe a little) You Never Held Me Back! On Purpose. I’ve heard the million ways you think you may have. I have a few more! Ha. You Always made sure I had everything I needed and moved Heaven + Earth for anything I wanted that you could “Rob Peter to Pay Paul” & make magically appear. Within Reason.
Thank you for picking my Dad to have that in common with. Can you IMAGINE who I’d be? Yup, probably, that’s why you Made Sure I had access to my Village even if you were a Lurking Momma Dragon. <3 Balance. If you’re gonna send your Heart out into the World, you Need to be prepared to Guard + Protect it. My Wounded Dragon Warrior. I love you. Thank you for showing me what it takes, and pushing me Out into the World. For better and for worse.
Thank you for Always Trusting Me to know what I was doing, Once You Understood. That's All I can ask of you as a person, my Human Personified trapped in an Inhumane World.
You loved Dave (DD moving forward -Dear Dave) like your own and supported us fully; but you knew when I’d met My Match. (Another commonality with Dad) I saw you morph into my Momma Owl, from Momma Bear.
You’ve Always been what you thought I needed, AND listened when I knew better. Our Animal Instinct to Know where to Let Go developed through Our Lifetime. My constant, in a life that spun so hard and fast; until it didn’t. Until I had the privilege/horror of Time to Make My Ends Meet.
My ____________ so many words: partner, BFF, best friend (same but different) co-pilot, husband, fellow explorer of the Universe and I have been through a meat grinder only you’ve truly seen. You made sure “NO MATTER WHAT” I had a safe place to land in this world you brought me into (and regularly threatened to remove me from) We left each other no choice but to FInd a safe place between us to reconnect and rediscover the person on the “other side”.
As you remind me the other day, we were always apart. I know we made Magic when we came back together. Sometimes Hell, or a cosmic stew of both. You did your best to create something to look back on, a positive to Balance out the pain. Our Sky was Always the Limit, regardless of our plentiful limitations. So “We did the best with what we had” and “Always tried our Best.”
You were a walking cliche until I saw you as my archer in the tower. Firing off WHATEVER you had In the Moment. We’ve had lots of moments, I have a lifetime of pins and sorted knots we worked through Together. You confirmed the other day I’ve never led you astray. 💖 You also told me “I’ve been running from you ALL your Life” POOF more heady information to explore.
I’m not sure what series of learning curves completed during our Heart to Heart. The safe space we’ve built created + nurtured together for my existence so I’d NEVER be alone in the universe. “Come Hell or High Water!” We’ve been through so much since before I was an apple in my father's eye.
Our Mother's day talk was so profound we were able to watch it happen in Real Time written all over faces. We tackled our Hardest Honest Truths + Eachothers. We found new games to play, defined our words + rules.
Change is unavoidable, no matter how hard we try; our ability to Keep up + Comprehend the Rules paints our Picture and you did Literally Anything you could comprehend to stay by my side.
The Zigs + Zags of our Etch-a-sketch; our lifeline on display - A product of our Support + Joy. There are Plenty of other data points and stresses we could add…But, why muddy the waters when we’ve agreed there are nolonger yesterdays, only tomorrows to be enjoyed.
Our past is a complete story now, we’ve found where OUR ends Meet. We’ve spent so many Spicy years chasing eachother through our Universes; I built a fuckin Space Catamarain with Jon. Out in the yard, 5 minutes ago. It appeared when I heard “Nobody can tell you anything anymore” That’s what I needed to discover my Helm. Freedom from Everything, damn it! Even YOU!
What a GIFT! Muah! Yup. Thanks for knowing when to step aside. You’ve always known when to fall in line, except when you didn’t. Cuz you’re Human, turns out, so am I. We know the realities, you always made sure I got the lesson. Now I can Finally See!! I have my compass and Holy Fucking Shit! It’s me.
Bout that catamaran, it consists of two separate little ships for side missions and solo adventures. Somethin about Space Pirates? Soorry, too high; don’t remember. HA! Oooooo and there's a hammock thing that binds them together for comfort and general co-pilot mode!! I think we’re getting close to finishing decoding Our code.... The trust we’ve always lived by finished mathing and we're finally starting to comprehend the level of our Joint Spice. He and I have spent nearly a decade weathering nightmare after storm on repeat, yet the life we built has brought me Joy beyond dreams, My Mommy. Thank you for Teaching me how to feel joy; fully. With our lessons visible, decipherable and discussable Jon and I feel like we can do anything; together +/or separately. That knowledge alone made our ship appear.
You handed my heart to Jon knowing he’d know what to do. LOL, you knew he held the pieces with all the little clues. Our Universe has come together, our first major mission is complete. We were able to find our ends, once I knew where I began. Jon and I have Forced and Forged, Nurtured + Adored until we got where we’ve been heading all along. (ahem - familiar much?!)
April Fools brought my Arrival; Mother’s Day, ours. I can't wait to see what happens, can't wait to kiss your FACE!! I’m excited to plan our next adventure, especially now that we’ve a better clue of where we're headed!
Love you!
-Me
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
